An Open Letter to the AFL
Dear Mr Demetriou,
I feel compelled to write this letter as an AFL fan for the past 24 years. I'm an Essendon supporter and have been since birth. Don't stop reading there though, because I'm not going to whinge and moan about our "clash strip" or the other bullshit you must get from AFL supporters. I'm going to stick to telling you a couple of truths.
You, along with the other cronies at AFL House (I'm looking at you Anderson, Gieschen aka Douche Bag, and co), are ruining the game so many have grown to love over the past 150 years the sport has existed. You are fucking up Australian Rules football.
I know what you're thinking. "Here we go, another 'Hands in the back' letter!" Incorrect. I couldn't give a fuck about the hands in the back rule. The "hands in the back" interpretation wouldn't be necessary if those officiating the game weren't 1 chromosome deformity short of retardation (see Exhibit A- Steve McBurney, Exhibit B - Scott McLaren and Exhibit C - Stefan Grun - on a side note, why have you hired a bloke named Stefan anyway?). In fact, if you had more umpires like Mark Fraser, who understands the game, you wouldn't have a problem!
Speaking of Mark Fraser, I understand he is no longer a registered AFL umpire, pushed out due to his inability to bounce the ball at stoppages up to AFL standard. God forbid we change the rule so he can throw the ball up in order to allow the only decent umpire to continue officiating. No, we can't change the rules to allow him to continue. Of course! We can only change the rules to allow the current batch of dirty little maggots (note I didn't use White - can't go discriminating against them can we Andrew) to continue officiating in a sport they were not only too shit to play, but haven't got the slightest idea about in general. Actually, you can even pass on to Steve McBurney that I hate his fucking guts, and if I saw him in public I'd ..... nevermind.
On a side note, do you remember the Anzac Day clash in 2003? McBurney officiated in that game. I remember him paying a 50 against Mark Johnson, who proceeded to tell him what he thought of him for his rather soft decision, whilst standing on the mark on the goal line giving Collingwood an easy goal. What was McBurney's response? In his best Carson Kressley voice, "Mark, if you keep uthing that language I'll pay another 50 metre penalty!" Mark Johnson's reply? "I'm on the fucking goal line you fucking idiot". Yet you change the rules to suit invalids like him.
Anyway, I went off track a little due to the venom I spit when I think of the dirty little maggots that you let officiate in our games. My real beef is with the current tribunal system. Actually, let's be honest Undies (you don't mind me calling you Undies do you? It's sort of a nickname), there's no system to the tribunal. It's a lotto isn't it? The Match Review Panel, who I have heard consists of Steady Eddie, Corky from "Life Goes On" and Robert Walls, just randomly dish out punishments depending on how they feel about the team involved, don't they Undies?
What makes me think this? Well, it's the double standards Undies. Certain players go for things that other players don't. Judd gets off an eye-gouging charge due to the wording of the charge, a rather convenient fuck up don't you think? If his name wasn't C Judd, and perhaps was F Gehrig or D Rioli, he would've got weeks wouldn't he have Undies? Not to mention Adam Goodes and Brendan Fevola. Whack those two in a Black Jumper with Red Sash and the "no case to answer" quickly becomes a 2 week ban. Nevermind the fact that Fevola ran 50 metres to hit Didak (ok, so he hit Didak, I can see why he got off) and started a melee which produced $32,500 worth of fines. Oh wait, Fev generated you revenue! Of course!!!
Then we see the latest round of reports. Fletcher and McVeigh get 2, reduced to 1 with an early plea, for fairly negligent acts. Ok, McVeigh was intentional, but it's Ablett. Special Kerr (do you like that one Undies? I combined Special K, the street name for Ketamine, and Kerr, his surname) gets one week for an INTENTIONAL elbow to the head of a Brisbane player despite having been rubbed out earlier in the year. Little bit odd don't you think Undies? I recall Lockett got 8 for smashing Caven's face all over the shop once. That was, of course, before the AFL collectively started fucking Sydney up the arse.
You're taking every bit of toughness out of the game Undies. Squibs like Cooney and Braddy Green are become prevalent players because you are protecting the soft cunts. Let's face it, the only hard ball Brad Green has got was when he stuck his hand down his pants as a 14 year old. If you asked Glenn Archer what he thinks about the state of football today, or whether John Blakey minded having his arse and his brain become 1 in the 2000 Ansett Cup Final courtesy of a Jason Johson bump, you'd realise where the game is headed.
But that would be allowing the players to speak their mind. We can't have that! What if they criticise the umpires? Oh god! What if an umpire's feelings are hurt? What if kids don't want to be the umpires of the future?
Memo to you Andrew - there will always be nerdy little fucks with no sporting ability who see umpiring as an opportunity to acquire power. You're not in danger of that happening anytime soon.
Stop fucking with my game.
Kind Regards,
Dave
Dear Mr Demetriou,
I feel compelled to write this letter as an AFL fan for the past 24 years. I'm an Essendon supporter and have been since birth. Don't stop reading there though, because I'm not going to whinge and moan about our "clash strip" or the other bullshit you must get from AFL supporters. I'm going to stick to telling you a couple of truths.
You, along with the other cronies at AFL House (I'm looking at you Anderson, Gieschen aka Douche Bag, and co), are ruining the game so many have grown to love over the past 150 years the sport has existed. You are fucking up Australian Rules football.
I know what you're thinking. "Here we go, another 'Hands in the back' letter!" Incorrect. I couldn't give a fuck about the hands in the back rule. The "hands in the back" interpretation wouldn't be necessary if those officiating the game weren't 1 chromosome deformity short of retardation (see Exhibit A- Steve McBurney, Exhibit B - Scott McLaren and Exhibit C - Stefan Grun - on a side note, why have you hired a bloke named Stefan anyway?). In fact, if you had more umpires like Mark Fraser, who understands the game, you wouldn't have a problem!
Speaking of Mark Fraser, I understand he is no longer a registered AFL umpire, pushed out due to his inability to bounce the ball at stoppages up to AFL standard. God forbid we change the rule so he can throw the ball up in order to allow the only decent umpire to continue officiating. No, we can't change the rules to allow him to continue. Of course! We can only change the rules to allow the current batch of dirty little maggots (note I didn't use White - can't go discriminating against them can we Andrew) to continue officiating in a sport they were not only too shit to play, but haven't got the slightest idea about in general. Actually, you can even pass on to Steve McBurney that I hate his fucking guts, and if I saw him in public I'd ..... nevermind.
On a side note, do you remember the Anzac Day clash in 2003? McBurney officiated in that game. I remember him paying a 50 against Mark Johnson, who proceeded to tell him what he thought of him for his rather soft decision, whilst standing on the mark on the goal line giving Collingwood an easy goal. What was McBurney's response? In his best Carson Kressley voice, "Mark, if you keep uthing that language I'll pay another 50 metre penalty!" Mark Johnson's reply? "I'm on the fucking goal line you fucking idiot". Yet you change the rules to suit invalids like him.
Anyway, I went off track a little due to the venom I spit when I think of the dirty little maggots that you let officiate in our games. My real beef is with the current tribunal system. Actually, let's be honest Undies (you don't mind me calling you Undies do you? It's sort of a nickname), there's no system to the tribunal. It's a lotto isn't it? The Match Review Panel, who I have heard consists of Steady Eddie, Corky from "Life Goes On" and Robert Walls, just randomly dish out punishments depending on how they feel about the team involved, don't they Undies?
What makes me think this? Well, it's the double standards Undies. Certain players go for things that other players don't. Judd gets off an eye-gouging charge due to the wording of the charge, a rather convenient fuck up don't you think? If his name wasn't C Judd, and perhaps was F Gehrig or D Rioli, he would've got weeks wouldn't he have Undies? Not to mention Adam Goodes and Brendan Fevola. Whack those two in a Black Jumper with Red Sash and the "no case to answer" quickly becomes a 2 week ban. Nevermind the fact that Fevola ran 50 metres to hit Didak (ok, so he hit Didak, I can see why he got off) and started a melee which produced $32,500 worth of fines. Oh wait, Fev generated you revenue! Of course!!!
Then we see the latest round of reports. Fletcher and McVeigh get 2, reduced to 1 with an early plea, for fairly negligent acts. Ok, McVeigh was intentional, but it's Ablett. Special Kerr (do you like that one Undies? I combined Special K, the street name for Ketamine, and Kerr, his surname) gets one week for an INTENTIONAL elbow to the head of a Brisbane player despite having been rubbed out earlier in the year. Little bit odd don't you think Undies? I recall Lockett got 8 for smashing Caven's face all over the shop once. That was, of course, before the AFL collectively started fucking Sydney up the arse.
You're taking every bit of toughness out of the game Undies. Squibs like Cooney and Braddy Green are become prevalent players because you are protecting the soft cunts. Let's face it, the only hard ball Brad Green has got was when he stuck his hand down his pants as a 14 year old. If you asked Glenn Archer what he thinks about the state of football today, or whether John Blakey minded having his arse and his brain become 1 in the 2000 Ansett Cup Final courtesy of a Jason Johson bump, you'd realise where the game is headed.
But that would be allowing the players to speak their mind. We can't have that! What if they criticise the umpires? Oh god! What if an umpire's feelings are hurt? What if kids don't want to be the umpires of the future?
Memo to you Andrew - there will always be nerdy little fucks with no sporting ability who see umpiring as an opportunity to acquire power. You're not in danger of that happening anytime soon.
Stop fucking with my game.
Kind Regards,
Dave
posted by mcdav at
18:33
2 Comments
