Straya's Next Top Model - Season 3
Well, I can honestly say in the 2 previous seasons, my interest in this show was minimal at best. However, an important rule was changed and a new dimension added to Season 3 of Straya's Next Top Model.

They lowered the minimum age of entry to 16.

Kudos to the genius behind this move, because the interest in your show has gone completely off the charts! Great move!!! Now, for the review of the chicks you've allowed in your show;

Sophie - Hmmm. Yes, I do love horses. Yes, I do love gambling. But I don't like girls that look like horses. Sophie looks very horse like. I think it's her 18 foot face that does it, but she is one very unattractive girl. She wouldn't make the "To Do" list, and this list is fucking extensive. Obviously the turnout from Victoria was somewhat lacking if they've given her a run. Or maybe they just wanted to point out that, despite being a top class state, Victoria does have it's flaws. Either way, I wouldn't do her with Undies' dick. 2/10

Jordan - Another strange looking beast, this time from New South Wales. NSW isn't a veritable goldmine of women, in that most of them that I have come across (not in the Bill Clinton sense) have been fairly ordinary. Sure, there are some diamonds in the rough, but on a whole.... nothing special. Ususally they are Lebanese or Arab or worse, drag queens. I wouldn't expect anything from NSW to be honest, it is the homosexual capital of Australia (not that there's anything wrong with that). 3/10 That photo doesn't look too bad. I'd do it.

Jane - From South Australia. No shit! Gotta love a girl on Straya's Next Top Model who drops the F Bomb at will and shows her class by using the word "Wankstain" to describe how she felt in a dress. Classy! Let me give you a tip Jane: The only wankstain you'd see would be if you wore Monica Lewinski's blue dress. You are a minger of the highest order, and not even a slab of Carlton Draught, a bottle of Johnnie Red and a bottle of the hardest fucking Absynthe would get me near enough to being drunk enough to fuck you. Paper bag job? No way. I dunno, she just screams "Ice User" to me. 1/10

Paloma - Nice name. Parents make that one up? At the start of the season I though, fuck me that is one ugly bitch. Then you cut your hair, pulled your fucking head in, and stopped acting like a whiny little bitch, and you really lifted your game. Good shit Paloma. Now all you need to do is change your fucking name and you might be a shot. Baby steps Paloma, baby steps. 5/10

Cobi - Thank fucking GOD you got the arse. What the fuck are you? A hobbit or something? Gollum has more sex appeal than you! From Victoria eh? Aren't you related to that Wankstain from Neighbours? 2/10

Cassandra - The Regina Bird of the show, only Reggie was cute and funny. This bitch is a butch baker from NSW. Loved the massive scar, possibly from when your penis was removed from your head. You snuck out, not sure what for though. You got the arse in the second show. Good Darts. But then, you did make all the other girls look good. 3/10

Danica - You're a mystery. Sometimes you look cute, other times you look like a fucking retard. You're from Queensland, and most of the chicks I know from Queensland are A-Grade material. That being said, you're not up their standard which is set very, very high. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for now, but you really need to lift your game to impress me. I'm sure the judges are of similar thought. 4/10

Annika - Massive Tits. Massive. You've got a certain something about you that makes me want to throw you on a bed and give you a bit of the old.... sorry, off topic. And then you open your mouth and I see your shithouse teeth and my interest wanes. You do however, have massive tits, which not even I can go past. These are definitely your saving grace. 6/10

Kara - The 3rd evictee, and I must ask, what the fuck. A hot chick from New South Wales. You only came in after the other hot chick, Jamie?, left the show to "sort" things out with her boyfriend. Jamie had big shoes to fill, and you didn't quite do it. But you were hot, just not hot enough. I'm watching you get evicted now, so I'm not sure why you go, but I'm confident there is a valid reason. Ciao. 6/10

Alice - Nikki Webster with bulimia. Tap you though. 7/10

Steph F - Cute. Surprisingly, the best in this series are the youngest. Or is that not surprisingly. Your face is a little round, but you've got these eyes that just scream out.... well, I can't quite say what they scream because you're underage. You nearly got the arse early on, which would have been a tragedy, as I would've missed you wearing a bikini. I'm a big fan Stephanie F, and I think you've got real star potential. Another from Queensland too. What can I say, the banana benders can manufacter honeys. 8/10

Steph H - You are A-Grade. A-Grade. You may be a little bit precious, a little bit immature and a little bit a snot, but that's how I like my girls. You can leave your shoes under my bed any time you want to. From the Central Coast of NSW (where I want to live, just quietly) I'm aware that you're not quite legal tender, but some girls are just worth going to prison for. You are one of them. You deserve to win this more than Essendon deserve to win the flag, and I'll be watching your career very closely. A-Grade Steph, A-Grade. 9/10

Kara got the arse because she is a silly bitch by the way. I just saw why.

So there's a little bit of talent, but it's not always about what their heads are like. Bodies are banging and enough to keep me entertained. Giddy up girls (especially Sophie as you ARE a horse) and keep putting out.

Ahhh fuck it - here's some more of both Stephs.

Peace out homies.