VRC Young Members Day - Saturday May 6th 2006
Ok, so I fully expected to be able to write this one sooner, however I lacked 2 very important things. The first is the ability to see or type, and the second is some form of recollection of the day itself. It has, however, all come back to me in a flood of good, as well as not so good, memories.

I've always said that a truly spendid day requires three things, known as the BFG's. B is for Booze, a mood enhancer with origins dating back over 6000 years to the Sumarians. Apparently they quickly realised how pissed it gets you, and Beer quickly became to be considered very precious. As it is today! Anyway, I seriously think I am drifting off course here, but who can blame me, IT'S BEER.

Editors Note : Don't have your fucking MSN open when you are trying to write a blog. It seriously hampers your fucking ability to put your thoughts into words, and quickly makes you want to punch the people that keep fucking bugging you.

The F is for Fillies, and I don't mean of the Horse variety. There's something special about the female variety. Whether it be that cute, innocent smile, or maybe their eyes. Whatever it is, I love it. And I'm single, so if you're cute ...

The G, well it isn't for G-Bangers or Go-Go Dancers, but instead stands for GAMBLING. I consider myself to be quite the Punter. Actually most people I work with do too, because they call me Punter. I originally thought it was because of my boyish good looks, much like Ricky Ponting, of the same nickname. When questioning their choice of nickname, it came about that it was a result of my constant discussion of sport and gambling, and telling them how much I win every week. To be honest, I don't see it.

Ok, so I've defined the 3 important aspects of a great/splendid day. Lets get to the juiciness of what happened on Saturday. Beer was consumed, and was consumed in small amounts. And by small amounts, I mean copious. I'm not a massive Toohey's New fan either, but to be honest I was so inebriated by 12 noon, it didn't matter.

The Gambling was good. Dr Nipandtuck and Victory Sweep did me proud early on, and I was up in excess of Two Hungie nice and early. The day was looking like a winner. Of course, streaks don't last forever and eventually I had to give my bookie back a few dollars here and there. But life goes on! I mean, what's a few bucks! The day ended up being paid for, so I really couldn't care less. And I was drunk!

Which leads me to the Fillies. Mmmmm. They were plentiful. I think I spoke to people I went to school with, paid out on the mingers entered into the fashion contest, and spoke to many lovely ladies throughout the day. To be honest, I cannot remember every single encounter, but I do recall the day to be aesthetically pleasing. Apropos, did I mention I am single? Just think, you too can enjoy these days ladies!

I think I caught the train from Flemo to Flinders, and I'm sure Wes could confirm this. I also assume I purchased Band Aids for my ankles at some stage, because I woke up with about 4 on each ankle as well as 60 spare ones in my suit pocket. Did I mention earlier I really enjoy wearing suits? It makes working worthwhile. I also came home with a pack of Nurofen, so I may or may not have had a headache. Anyway....

Jad and I went to the footy. It's a long walk to the 'G when you've enjoyed a few quiet beers. It's also a little bit difficult to climb up numerous steps. We also took this opportunity to talk about important political and social issues, such as how hot Krystal from Big Brother is. I won't go into the match in too much detail, because it was pretty shattering. Memo to Tim Watson: Please teach Jobe how to kick.

From the footy, we ventured to Kitten Club. Now let me jump in right here and express my disappointment with this place. In my physical and mental state of this evening, I was convinced Kitten Club was a place that would be fun, involve dancing, and other stuff. This was not the case. They did however, happily supply me with Absinth which definitely gave me new perspective of life. I don't recall much from Kitten Club, apart from a chance meeting with a Geelong Footballer. I think he had eaten a Whizz Fizz.

Ooooohh! The Elephant and the Wheelbarrow was rocking! Penny... blonde, cute and an English Beer Wench! What more could a guy want? Lexi.... not blonde, but weren't you a fit little thing? Did I give you my card? Call me! I'm Single!

Anyway, I think I went to crown, screamed at a croupier for being a rude bitch (while Jad was sleeping somewhere on a seat) and then got a taxi home at about 6:30. There is about 2 hrs of unknown that has occurred but I think it was all above board.

Beertopia next Saturday.