Torn Adductors, Scrubs and Waiting.....
I was sitting here wondering what to do with my time, whilst I install Adobe Production Studio that I ripped off from some website. So what if I got $1500 worth of software for free, everybody's doing it. What if everybody was jumping off a cliff, would you do that too? What am I, and idiot? Of course I wouldn't. Why do people always ask that? As if you'd be dumb enough to purposely jump off a cliff, plumetting to your own death, just because someone else did it.
Anyway. Let me start off by saying one thing. Canadian chicks truly suck. I played my cards as I should have. I was nice to you, which believe me was a massive fucking stretch because I'm not nice to anyone. I asked you for your number straight out, and you gave it to me. So tell me, oh precious being, why did you not return my call? Oh that's right, you're a Canadian. Look at you! You're from Canadia! Aren't you just a special human being. Hope you get deported.
Much better!
Ok, on to the torn adductor. What is worse than tearing your right adductor whilst playing netball? Tearing it before the game by thinking you're Ronaldinho and "pretending" to kick a goal. Yeah, very Ronaldinho like. Only thing I was missing was the bucked teeth and the horse head. I really don't like that bloke. I think he's the spitting image of what you'd get if you put one through a horse, and knocked her up. Interesting birth to watch though. Is beastiality illegal in Australia? I've just had this massive brain wave. What if I could get someone like, say, James Hird to have "relations" with, oh, Makybe Diva? Obviously I'd have to pay the Dam fees, but it could work for my benefit. Usually a horse is ready to go at 2 years of age. So a Horman (half horse, half human) would probably be ready after 4. So..... wow! I'm going to write to Sheeds. This could seriously work. In 5 years time, Essendon could have a player that runs like a mother fucker and kicks the ball 100 metres. Not to mention it would have the ability to find space and creativity of Jim Hird, and live off grains, carrots and water. I am a genius.
Fuck. What time was my sister's plane landing? Ah fuck her, she can walk.
Kudos to Bigpond for slowing my internet to 64kbps for the last 4 hrs of the month. Really generous of you.
Back to the adductor. So my physio, who is new because the other one may or may not have been involved in some giant porn ring, is quite hot. She's 22 and just gone into practice. How did I find her? I dunno, I was referred? Who cares? Anyway, she tells me that a torn adductor is not a good injury. Fuck! You went to uni so you could tell me that? Next thing you're going to say is that R.I.C.E is the solution to the problem. It is? Fuck me! No, seriously, would you?
Ok, so maybe she was right. I can walk on it. The crutches have been thrown away and I can almost jog. Woohoo! I hope she won't mind too much if I play netball again this Sunday. Its ok. Really. I only feel a little bit of pain if I, ah, move it, but I'll be sweet.
Did I mention I was going to all THREE Pearl Jam concerts? No. Well I am. So add another concert to the second week of November on the 16th. Party, Party, Party!
Going to the races on Saturday, which will obviously give the opportunity to post some ludicrous story on Sunday or whenever I can be fucked. You should look forward to that. In the meantime I'm going to watch the 4th season of Scrubs (the 3rd was great, with some really sad moments). Also, Dr Cox's missus is fucking hot for an older woman. I would gladly be her doona buddy.
I'm also holding auditions for a new Doona Buddy this coming Friday. If you're interested you can contact me in a really creative way. So get thinking.
Remember, unless you're my friend, you're possibly a terrorist.
Me Me Meee Mee Me.
I was sitting here wondering what to do with my time, whilst I install Adobe Production Studio that I ripped off from some website. So what if I got $1500 worth of software for free, everybody's doing it. What if everybody was jumping off a cliff, would you do that too? What am I, and idiot? Of course I wouldn't. Why do people always ask that? As if you'd be dumb enough to purposely jump off a cliff, plumetting to your own death, just because someone else did it.
Anyway. Let me start off by saying one thing. Canadian chicks truly suck. I played my cards as I should have. I was nice to you, which believe me was a massive fucking stretch because I'm not nice to anyone. I asked you for your number straight out, and you gave it to me. So tell me, oh precious being, why did you not return my call? Oh that's right, you're a Canadian. Look at you! You're from Canadia! Aren't you just a special human being. Hope you get deported.
Much better!
Ok, on to the torn adductor. What is worse than tearing your right adductor whilst playing netball? Tearing it before the game by thinking you're Ronaldinho and "pretending" to kick a goal. Yeah, very Ronaldinho like. Only thing I was missing was the bucked teeth and the horse head. I really don't like that bloke. I think he's the spitting image of what you'd get if you put one through a horse, and knocked her up. Interesting birth to watch though. Is beastiality illegal in Australia? I've just had this massive brain wave. What if I could get someone like, say, James Hird to have "relations" with, oh, Makybe Diva? Obviously I'd have to pay the Dam fees, but it could work for my benefit. Usually a horse is ready to go at 2 years of age. So a Horman (half horse, half human) would probably be ready after 4. So..... wow! I'm going to write to Sheeds. This could seriously work. In 5 years time, Essendon could have a player that runs like a mother fucker and kicks the ball 100 metres. Not to mention it would have the ability to find space and creativity of Jim Hird, and live off grains, carrots and water. I am a genius.
Fuck. What time was my sister's plane landing? Ah fuck her, she can walk.
Kudos to Bigpond for slowing my internet to 64kbps for the last 4 hrs of the month. Really generous of you.
Back to the adductor. So my physio, who is new because the other one may or may not have been involved in some giant porn ring, is quite hot. She's 22 and just gone into practice. How did I find her? I dunno, I was referred? Who cares? Anyway, she tells me that a torn adductor is not a good injury. Fuck! You went to uni so you could tell me that? Next thing you're going to say is that R.I.C.E is the solution to the problem. It is? Fuck me! No, seriously, would you?
Ok, so maybe she was right. I can walk on it. The crutches have been thrown away and I can almost jog. Woohoo! I hope she won't mind too much if I play netball again this Sunday. Its ok. Really. I only feel a little bit of pain if I, ah, move it, but I'll be sweet.
Did I mention I was going to all THREE Pearl Jam concerts? No. Well I am. So add another concert to the second week of November on the 16th. Party, Party, Party!
Going to the races on Saturday, which will obviously give the opportunity to post some ludicrous story on Sunday or whenever I can be fucked. You should look forward to that. In the meantime I'm going to watch the 4th season of Scrubs (the 3rd was great, with some really sad moments). Also, Dr Cox's missus is fucking hot for an older woman. I would gladly be her doona buddy.
I'm also holding auditions for a new Doona Buddy this coming Friday. If you're interested you can contact me in a really creative way. So get thinking.
Remember, unless you're my friend, you're possibly a terrorist.
Me Me Meee Mee Me.
posted by mcdav at
20:26
2 Comments:
If everyone else was jumping off a cliff, fark oath I would - what I want to be by myself? That'd suck.
I've already lined up James Hird to sleep with the Jesus chick from The Da Vinci Code - so the Div' will have to wait for Miss Jesus.
Although knowing our luck, she'd probably have girl.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home